Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
