oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
