Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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