think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
