All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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