dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
