No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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