Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
