I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
