Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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