love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
