I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
