Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
