he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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