I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
