I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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