there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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