I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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