Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
