then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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