now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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