just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
