East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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