I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
