Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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