There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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