I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
