i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
