I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
