well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
