Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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