they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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