Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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