The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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