I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
