my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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