cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
