Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
