One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
