apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
