Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
