i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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