i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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