I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Found the puke drawer
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
