clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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