you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I will die if light touches me.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
