hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Randomize
