I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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