guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
