She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
