Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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