I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
